Fighting Fair
by ColdComfort4
Summary: Emmett makes a bet with Bella that produces some unpleasant results, for Edward at least. What does Emmett want? And why is Esme suddenly invoking her motherly rites of punishment?
1. Bets

_**Many thanks to Tersaseda and Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit for being fabulous betas! I'm so excited to have my first Twilight fic posted.**_

_**Disclaimer: Much as I would like to claim that I own Twilight, I can't. The talented Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

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I watched carefully as Emmett took his turn. He captured one of my kings, but in doing so, had left an opening I couldn't believe. I took it, smiling triumphantly.

To my dismay, he mirrored my grin, placed his hand on one of his pieces and began a complex series of moves I was sure I couldn't have followed as a human. When he was finished, there wasn't a single red circle left on the nine boards we had put together.

"I win," he bellowed. "Oh, and king me!"

I couldn't move. I was in shock.

"What?" he laughed, "you really thought you could beat me? I've never seen someone fall for a setup so easily." When I just blinked at him, he continued. "Come on, Bella, I've yet to see you win at anything except against Edward. And that's just 'cause he throws the game, the softy."

I aimed a punch at his shoulder, but only hit air and rolled forward with the force of my blow.

He was still laughing from his new position leaning against the wall. "You didn't really think I would wager my whole weekend with Nessie over a game I wasn't sure I could win, did you?" he chuckled, winking.

I snarled at him. He had somehow talked my daughter into a three-day hunting trip with just him, and I was very worried what he planned to teach my 4-year-old who resembled a 13-year-old. I thought I could at least win at _checkers _and make him take me along.

And instead, I now faced a much more difficult task.

Emmett saw my reluctance. "There is no way you're getting out of this. We shook on it."

"Please don't make me do it," I pleaded

He shook his head. The smug look on his face threatened to incite my temper, but I held back. "No way, you lost, fair and square."

I tried cajoling instead. "I know, but, isn't there anything else you want?" I glanced around the large living room of our waterfront house in the hopes that something might magically appear that I could offer.

"Nope. But I suppose, if you ask really nicely, I'll call it off."

"You would do that?" I asked, shocked. There had to be a catch.

"Conditionally."

Like I said. "It had to be something like that with you. What condition?"

"Well, if you don't have to honor your bets, then I don't have to honor mine. Like keeping my mouth shut. Or staying out of your house. Or not calling your dad. Or…"

He continued to count off many of the regulations I had put on him from multiple arm wrestling matches. I had been smart enough to stop agreeing to terms before my first year as a newborn was up.

It didn't look like I had much choice.

"He's going to want to kill me, Emmett," I groaned.

"Nothing like a little tension to spice up the bedroom. Have you two ever played - "

I took another swipe at him, knowing I did _not _want to hear the end of that sentence. I also thought I'd remind him about the very first bet I had won, but I somehow ended up pinned on my back. Ugh, how did he do that?

"Come on, little sister," he sang from above me, "gonna make me fight you first?"

I growled and tried to extricate myself from his grip, but my newborn strength was long gone, and I was hopelessly stuck.

Suddenly, Emmett flew across the room and slammed into the brick wall of the fireplace. The crack echoed through the house. Edward was crouched in front of me where I still lay on the floor. Emmett laughed and approached him with his arms wide like he was going to hug him.

Esme wouldn't be happy about the Emmett-sized hole in the wall. She had loved fixing up this old Victorian mansion set right on the bank of a small lake in New Hampshire. But Emmett didn't pay any attention to it.

"Eddie! Just the person I wanted to see!"

I got to my feet in time to see the surprise and disbelief register across Edward's face. He turned to look at me with raised eyebrows.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I don't know how he did it."

"Bella," he moaned, "you should know by now to _never _take a bet against Emmett."

"What's that supposed to mean? I didn't even cheat." Emmett's grin had me doubting that statement.

"What's going on in here?" Jasper was standing at the back door, having just returned with Edward from their hunting trip.

"Bella owes me a fair fight with Edward."

Jasper's eyebrows shot up, but he nodded. "I'm actually surprised it took you this long to orchestrate it. This should be interesting."

"Where are Carlisle and Esme?" I asked.

Edward gave me a half smile. "They got distracted."

"Dang, that means they'll be gone for _hours_!" Emmett complained. "I was hoping to get more witnesses."

"I don't think you can count on the girls," Edward said. "They won't be home till well after dark." Alice was over the moon that Renesmee made up for my lack of enthusiasm in the fashion department. The two of them had gone with Rosalie to New York for the day to check out Kate Spade's new clothesline. "But Jacob will be back from school in a couple hours, you could wait for him. It's not like this match will take any longer than all the others we've had."

Nessie had to be schooled at home - still growing half vampires didn't fit well in public settings - but Jacob's own lost bet with Edward had landed him in high school by himself.

Emmett guffawed. "Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this for seventy years. I'm not giving you the chance to escape to the border."

Edward and I groaned as Emmett bounded forward and grabbed both of our hands, skipping a la Alice out the back door of our New Hampshire home. He led us through a small mass of trees and down a hill to a wide lawn that was our usual game field, Jasper chuckling as he trailed behind.

Emmett left us at the edge by the trees while he charged forward to the center of the clearing. Edward was grimacing at him.

"Tough nuggies, man. You've had this coming for a long time. Of course, I could just tell everyone that you were too scared and forfeited."

That got Edward bristled. He was in front of Emmett in an instant, crouched and ready to spring.

"It's not going to make a difference," Edward jeered. "I'll still have you begging for mercy at the end."

"Sure you will," Emmett goaded, then turned to me. "Alright, sis, both of 'em."

What did that mean? "Huh?"

"You think I want the spy listening in on the general? No way. You promised me a fair fight, and that's what I'm gonna get."

I rolled my eyes. I should have known that Emmett's idea of a fair fight meant 100 percent weighted in his favor. I sighed and threw an apologetic look at Edward before pushing out on my shield.

Four years ago there had been necessity behind my shield. I was bent on protecting everything and everyone that I loved, and projecting my shield out from myself had been effortless. This wasn't quite as easy as that had been, but with just a portion of the concentration that my vampire mind was capable of, I moved it to shape around Jasper, curve to the side of Edward and encompass Emmett. When I was finished, I nodded at them.

"Ready."

Edward was still angry, and lunged. But Emmett expected it, and dodged to the side. Edward turned to look at him, but only saw empty space as Emmett had leaped over his head to come crashing down on the other side. Edward had just enough time to duck beneath the blow aimed at his head, dancing back to give Emmett a wide berth.

This was hard. I absolutely hated watching Edward fight, especially since this was more serious than regular horsing around. It was probably a good thing that Esme was otherwise occupied - she would not have allowed this. But I was itching to join the fight at Edward's side. My other preferred option would be to make myself scarce until they laughingly told me the results.

But my presence here was necessary. More than my presence - Emmett had demanded my complete attention. I actually had to watch every kick, every punch, every throw, so that I could keep the shield tight as a skin wrapped around Emmett while keeping Edward outside of it.

I mentally reminded myself never to take a bet with Emmett again.

The fight lasted 47 minutes, at least three times as long as any wrestling match I'd watched in the family. Even without the mind reading, Edward was faster and could therefore avoid Emmett's charges most of the time. But, when Emmett did get in a punch, it showed his far superior strength, propelling Edward across the clearing with just enough time for him to get to his feet and dodge the next attack.

Eventually, though, Emmett did a triple feint (the doubles had not been working) and managed to pull Edward's feet out from under him. He was suddenly perched on Edward's back, holding his arms tightly.

I sighed and released my shield. It didn't really make me tired, of course, but it did take work.

Emmett, however, did not seem to think this was over.

"Oh, hey, Edward!" he called as if seeing him for the first time. "What are you doing down there?"

"Dammit, Emmett! Get off me!"

He ignored him. "Cause you know it doesn't look all that comfortable. Why don't you get up?"

Edward growled back at him.

"Enough, Emmett," I yelled. He seemed intent on irritating me to death today.

"But maybe you're used to this position, Edward. I'll bet Bella beats you down every night. You always let her win anyway, though, don't you, you pansy?"

I jumped across the field in a sixteenth of a second, landing with my legs wrapped around Emmett's waist and my arms around his neck. I was vaguely aware of Jasper laughing at us from the sidelines.

"Let go of my husband," I murmured, "or you can explain to Rosalie why she has to help reattach your ear."

I had just enough time to hear Edward's "_No!!"_ when I found myself flying. Emmett had thrown himself into the air, with me still on his back. I tried to push off him, but he had locked his hands around my wrists and ankles, anchoring me to him. He landed with me flat on my back, burying me a good three feet into the earth. He was gone in less than half a second, and Edward's extended hand helped me extricate myself from the dirt, rock, and worms I had found myself in.

Emmett had decided to switch over to his victory lap. He was circling the meadow, singing _We Are the Champions_ at the top of his lungs.

As Edward tried to help me brush off the mud I was now caked in, Jasper strolled over.

"That was kind of pathetic, Edward. I really didn't think he'd beat you."

Edward rewarded him for that remark with a sweep kick that Jasper neatly jumped over before moving to pounce. Not to be outdone this time, I sprang to intercept Jasper and as a result all three of us toppled to the ground with a crash that rocked the trees. Of course, Emmett didn't want to be left out and he jumped on top creating a vampire dog pile.

I didn't pay too much attention to the next series of events. I was acting more or less on instinct as I grabbed, clawed, and dodged the multiple attacks that came our way, laughing with the others the whole time. Edward and I mostly worked together, but I caught his smirk in the fraction of a second before he body-slammed me. I reciprocated by getting my feet on his stomach and propelling him right into Emmett mid charge.

The only change came when something very large and furry barreled its way through us, scattering us like bowling pins. We paused for half a second before burying the russet wolf in white bodies, and the fray began again. Jacob's playful growls mixed in with our snarling and laughing, all barely audible over the crashes and screeches echoing in the meadow.

We were all brought up short by a usually sweet voice bellowing at us.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!!!"


	2. Consequences

Uh oh.

All five of us froze in place, which maybe wasn't the best idea, given our positions, but we were too shocked to move. I was lying spread-eagle across Jacob, who was on his side on the ground. Emmett had his arms wrapped around my leg, had one leg under Jacob, and the other leg going up and over his head, where it was held by Edward's outstretched arms. I knew it was Edward because I knew him so well, and by process of elimination. Only his arms and feet were visible poking out from underneath the werewolf. Jasper was the only one actually standing, but it didn't look like a good thing, as his torso was caught in Jacob's teeth. He had his hands stretched toward Jake's ear, like he was about to rip it off.

We all tried to look innocent. From Esme's glare, it didn't work. Carlisle was standing behind her with just the barest hint of mirth in his eyes.

"Alice tried to call you," Esme growled. "She said that a few reports of unusual thunder had come in and that if the noise didn't stop, in about five minutes there would be a full investigation of the area to see if someone was using illegal explosives!"

Oh. We hadn't really been thinking about how loud we were.

One of Edward's hands disappeared, sliding under the wolf and returning with what probably used to be a cell phone.

"Hmm," Emmett mused, the only one of us in a position to get a good look at the shattered bits of plastic and metal. "I guess that's why we didn't hear it ring. Let's check to see if she left a voicemail."

We all burst out laughing, but it died in our throats when we caught the look of fire in Esme's eyes.

"All of you," she barked, "follow me."

We carefully extricated ourselves from our incriminating positions. We were all filthy, and Alice would be furious when she saw what we had done to our clothes. I grabbed Edward's hand as we trudged after Esme and Carlisle, smiling a bit at his torn jeans, missing shoe, and shirt that was hanging off one shoulder.

"She seems in a really bad mood," I whispered in his ear. "I've never seen her like this."

"I've only ever seen her this mad two other times. Once was when Emmett and I accidentally knocked down the Tudor home she was remodeling."

"And the other time?"

His face was sheepish. "I don't want to talk about it."

I definitely needed to ask Alice about that one.

I noticed that Emmett and Jasper were hanging their heads, and that Edward seemed to be concentrating on something as we all trudged through the trees. Jacob was walking behind us, on two legs now, and didn't appear as morose as the others. I wondered what he and I were missing.

"We're in trouble, aren't we?" I asked Edward.

"Yes, lots," he said.

"Why? We've made messes before-"

"And they've annoyed her. I suppose you could call this the straw that broke the camel's back. Plus, she wasn't happy about having her time with Carlisle interrupted."

"Ah." Well, I couldn't imagine what was really in store for us, but I guessed from the boys' expressions that it wouldn't be pleasant. "What happened when you and Emmett broke the house?"

"She made us rebuild it." He flinched at the memory.

"That doesn't sound too bad," I said, confused. A vampire could build a house in a couple weeks, I'd guess. It might even be fun.

But Edward was shaking his head at me. "She hired a couple contractors to watch us and give us directions. We had to use tools and move at human speed and not work at night. It took _18 months_."

Ew. That did sound less than appealing. "What is she planning for us now?" I was afraid I didn't want to find out.

"She's either decided and doesn't want me to hear it, or she doesn't know herself yet."

The house came into view as we emerged from the trees. But today, the large house on the lake didn't calm me like it usually did. We all trooped into the living room where Esme stood with her arms folded. She pointed to the huge leather couch.

"Sit," she commanded.

Before we had taken two steps, I noticed her eyes zero in on Edward holding my hand, and she stopped us.

"Edward," she said, pointing. He sighed, released me, and sat on the far left. She continued down the line. "Jasper. Jacob. Emmett. Bella."

When we were all in place, she came to stand in front of the large TV, facing us. "Now children. I can see that you need a lesson on playing nicely with each other. And I think it's best you learn from one of the most famous happy families."

Edward gasped as he finally saw what she had in mind, but the rest of us couldn't see what she pulled out of the cupboard and loaded into our 6-disc DVD player. It wasn't until the theme music started that the rest of us caught on.

"You're making us watch _Full House_?!!"

The protests came from all sides until she glared at us again. If looks could kill...

"You will all sit there quietly. You will not speak. You will not touch each other."

"For how long?" Jacob asked. It was amazing how he thought of Esme as 'Mom' like the rest of us.

"Until I say so." Esme then marched across the hall to Carlisle's study, leaving the door open, and pulled out her latest set of blueprints.

This had to be pure torture. From the very first "the baby's sleeping like a baby" it was all I could do to resist gagging. Jacob actually did, and that earned us 'four more episodes' from Esme. The jokes were bad, the acting was nauseating, and the sappy 'aw' moments were worse. How long could she subject us to this?

Ten episodes into our "time out", Nessie and the others got home, laden with so many bags we could hardly see them. They didn't look surprised to see us all sulking on the couch, so Alice must have tipped them off. Rosalie asked if they were allowed to greet the prisoners, but at Esme's refusal, she shrugged and the three of them went upstairs. We could hear them admiring each other's new outfits in Rosalie's room.

After another three episodes I took a risk by calling out. "Esme, it's Nessie's bedtime."

She pursed her lips for a moment, and then called, "Nessie."

My daughter came streaming into the hallway wearing a white pea coat, hat, and long green skirt. "Yeah, Grandma?"

"How would like to have Grandpa tuck you in tonight?"

Nessie looked over to the rest of us, all sitting with our arms crossed and sour expressions on our faces, and seemed to understand. She gave us an amused look before agreeing. "Okay!"

We were permitted to kiss our daughter as she bid us all good night, and then resumed our torture under Esme's watchful eye.

Around midnight, the first season was over. We looked pleadingly at Esme, who looked a great deal calmer than before. She turned the TV off and stood facing us.

"Alright, everyone, what did you learn?"

I didn't need Alice's talent to tell me I shouldn't let Emmett answer that question, so I quickly said, "Families are supposed to help each other out. They lift each other up when someone is down. And always are kind and say nice things."

I held my breath, hoping that my delivered line would be taken well. Esme thought about it for a minute, looking each of us in the eyes. Finally, she nodded, and a sly smile spread across her face.

"Okay, you're free. But if I ever catch you being so reckless again, you'll seriously regret it."

We scattered before she could change her mind. Edward and I were racing through the trees towards the house we had four blocks over. No one would see us in this dark. I was aware of Jacob, in wolf form again, running beside us.

Our garage was Jacob's workshop, the intent being that he and Rosalie wouldn't kill each other. So much for them bonding over their favorite pastime; we were lucky the garage in Forks had remained intact after their first attempt to work at the same time. He had a loft in the two-car space, thanks to Esme, and we were all happy with the arrangement. It meant that he was never very far from Renesmee without actually having to sleep in the same house while Edward and I were...otherwise occupied.

Carlisle was waiting for us in the front room, a large book in his hands. He smiled at us when we came in. "Are you free or just on probation?"

"Ugh," I groaned. "Free, I hope. How was Nessie?"

"Just fine. We read another chapter of _Les Mis_ and then she fell right to sleep."

"Thanks, Carlisle," Edward said. "Sorry we got in trouble and ruined your afternoon."

He chuckled once and stood. "Not at all. I find it highly entertaining when Esme gets strict with you."

"Because then she's not mad at you?" Edward guessed.

Carlisle's gave us a wicked smile. "Maybe. We'll see you in the morning."

When Carlisle was gone, Edward and I darted up to peek into Nessie's room, where she slept soundly, and then to our large master bedroom.

As was routine, I pushed on my shield to talk to Edward. He requested that we work on it every night.

_Well, that could have been worse._ I was picturing rebuilding houses or being forced to eat rabbits for a month.

"I suppose. It still didn't mean it was fun."

_Oh, come on._ And then I imagined Danny Tanner holding out his arms. _Give me a hug._

Edward chuckled, moving to kiss my neck. "Oh, puh-leaze"

_You're not even kissing my lips? How rude!_

He eagerly obliged, and I had another line to quote, but completely forgot it as he and I tumbled onto our huge white bed. I was sure he was as determined as I was to enjoy the few short hours we had left before Nessie woke up.

What with huge fights, torturous television, and limited time with Edward, I was definitely never taking a bet with Emmett again.


End file.
